Happy Thanksgiving

We will be having a turkey delivered, ready to go into the oven tomorrow. If you forgot about the turkey, don't be afraid to spatchcock a turkey. According to Martha, it will cook in 70 minutes! It looks like a lot of work and not for the weak (like me!). Kind of a rude way to honor the bird but whatever works!

Have a wonderful holiday!

Balloon Boy: Just Kidding!

I found it odd that after a day of missing your child you would hold a press conference outside of your home. I think that I would have been hospitalized from the stress of the day, not really looking to do much more than hang out with my son (even if he were named Falcon) who at one point was believed to be flying 30,000ft. in the air. The Balloon Boy's family is odd and rude to want the spotlight after making such a spectacle of themselves. I can see why he decided to spend the day in the attic.

Scary Forwards

Why do my loved ones like to frighten me with forwarded emails warning me of abductions in parking lots, how to avoid being strangled in your bed and threats of bad karma if I do not forward their spiritual emails from Oprah? Obviously I'm already paranoid of most things, I don't need new scenarios to play out in my overactive imagination (that's what my mom called it). For instance, there was one email warning people of a crying baby sound at the door. The killer would then grab you as you open the door to check on things. That's so creepy. Now if a friend drops by with their baby I'll have to make them answer a series of verification questions "just in case."

Thank you Dad for the most recent tip:

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car,
kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole
and start waving like crazy..
The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.

How rude! Obviously if I'm ever locked in the trunk of the car... I will die of a panic attack. I won't be able to wave to anyone. I love you all but please stop scaring me. I already have Rhonda to read me the Brooklyn police blotter.

Joe Jr.'s is Closed

Photo by Shanna Ravindra via New York Magazine

On Sunday, M.B. and I returned from a lovely weekend with friends at the beach.  We had to return our rental car to the Hertz in Union Square.  Since we were in his old 'hood, we literally bumped into the saddest news ever... Joe Jr.'s is closed!  M.B. had many meals with the owners (where he was known as "Cage").  This was also our emergency meeting spot in the city since everyone knows him and they are always friendly.  

Fortunately, we were able to see Greg, the owner's son, and give him our best.  He said that they would probably re-open somewhere else after the landlord ended their 45-year-old lease. They mentioned a url that they would set-up to post updates.  If anyone has it, please share.  We are very saddened by this rude news.  

The High Line

Photo: Getty Images

Why is that every time I am basically on top of the much anticipated High Line on the west side of Manhattan, I'm always near "the exit"?  It seems silly that we can't enjoy walking in either direction.  It would have been great to walk up there tonight but we were told to "walk on" to the "entrance" on 16th and 10th Avenue.  Looking forward to planning a trip to the official entrance soon!

Squeeze Bacon?

Squeeze bacon may be considered rude to serve at a dinner party...

Shampoo + Conditioner = ??

My co-worker Laura pointed out today how rude it was to assume that shampoo and conditioner's core functions can be 'watered down' by the other.  Sounds like a corporate consolidation memo.  The whole combo concept just smells of a man... (said in a deep man voice) "Yes that is brilliant!  You will save time in the shower!"  This may work for short hair but for the rest of us this is crazy RUDE.  My locks need to be gently cleaned FIRST, then to be nourished and conditioned.  I celebrate the time spent on my mane!

Investigating this further, I found the original "2 in 1" product was Pert Plus.  They now have a line for men.  Ummm, who else besides dudes at the gym did you think was using your product before? They have patented this product as the original "time saver."  Loves it.

I think that this ad says it all...

Mean Girls

How scary that the number one emailed NYTimes article is "Backlash - Women Bullying Women at Work."  After reading the bullying "tactics" I just thought that some of these are particularly frightening...

1.  Glaring at someone in a hostile manner (Juno: "Your girlfriend is giving me the stink-eye")

2.  Giving someone the silent treatment (ok... weird)

3.  Treating others in a RUDE or disrespectful manner (hello!?)

My favorite line in the article: "WHAT better place to be a bully than in a prison?"   It kept me reading!

The Hunt

On Saturday Alison and I decided to check out the Domino Mag editor's tag sale.  We got there before opening bell, only to discover a line wrapping around the block.  We eagerly waited for TWO+ hours only to discover an empty apartment with about two lamps ($500/pair) and leftover fabric (we tried to pretend to look at it but we don't have any clue what we're doing with fabric!).  The whole thing was over-rated.  Any-who... I did get to meet the coolest person ever! Arden Myrin and her friend Mikie kept us laughing in the final stretches.  She even posted this photo of us for her new blog.  Friendly blog promotion = not rude!

Just Married!

M.B. and I tied the knot three weeks ago!  Obviously we have several rude encounters but no need to dwell on those... OK I'll dish.  My top 5 rude behaviors related to our wedding:

1. People who cancelled/didn't show up.  

2. People who neglected to RSVP.  Not the rudest thing in the world but when enough people forgot, it became v. frustrating.  I mean the postcard was post marked... they just had to check a box. 

3. The final 100m. with the vendors.  They knew that they have you between a rock and hard place so there are several "additional fees" that would just make our wedding more special.  And, at that point, money is no issue.

4. Drunk friends at a wedding are amazing; blind drunk family members are rude.  

5. The driver who decided that in lieu of picking up the bride, he would pick up another fare in Brooklyn.  We were an hour late.  Oh yes... the bus that hit the car we finally landed in was pretty rude.

Brooklyn Neighbor Byrne-d

Every Sunday, M.B. and I look forward to seeing our favorite Brooklyn neighbor, Gabriel Byrne (ok I definitely look forward to it way more than M.B.).  He frequents a local coffee shop with his g.f. and I just love that we are all "regulars" reading our papers together.  A few weeks ago, I was sitting with my back to him and heard another patron approach his table.  Right away I knew that it was going to end badly.  This rude man basically told him that he's selling his home and asked Mr. Byrne to help him, possibly one of his "LA friends" needed to buy a place.  Since then, we have not seen him at the coffee shop.  It may be unrelated but I blame the rude guy.

How Rude of Me

I have been busy...  I wish that I could say that I was cruising around in this thing!  Yes that is a mom and baby snuggie.  

Fish Pedicures!

Fish Pedicures = SO rude.  What is WRONG with people?  Asking fish to eat the dead skin off of your dirty feet is sick.

Birth Control x8

This photo was published on TMZ.com today.  I can't even...  

Sorry Mr. President, I Changed My Mind...?

Senator Judd Gregg really gave President Obama the run-around. Apparently, the Republican Senator asked for the job and then 10 days later, he very publicly withdrew his nomination as Commerce Secretary.  Who does that?  If you are committed to "public service" and helping your constituents, why would you decline a major cabinet position where you can lead change? How rude!  

Postal

Yesterday I went to the post office to have my wedding invitations hand cancelled.  Apparently, this is the thing to do so that the automatic postal stickers don't ruin the look of your invitations. Oh the irony!  I had imagined this day for months! For this was the day that I could finally send out my gorgeous, perfect invitations.  Arriving at the post office with my perfect box, filled with my perfect, ivory envelopes, I was delighted to not have to wait in a long line. When it was my turn, I deposited my box on the counter and announced with a big smile, "These are my wedding invitations..."  I don't know what I was expecting... maybe she would remove her blue rubber gloves and escort me to a beautiful room, or deposit my perfect invitations into a satin bag or hand me a glass of champaign.  The answer is no.  She instead informed me that I would be charged for her services.  Fair enough.  Disgruntled with her attempt to deter me from my mission and remove me from her line of sight, she took her hand stamp and angrily plopped it down wherever it fell across my invitations.  She may or may not have double stamped a few and actually landed the stamp on the address (that's nowhere near the stamp!).  She rapidly completed the pile and then threw them (yes threw) into her magical bin and said, "$4.30."  After a polite smile, I counted out four dollar bills and, as I was picking out the exact change she said, "It's ok, you can just give me four."  To which I replied, "Oh no, I want you to have the thirty cents.  You did a terrific job."

I understand that she may not love her job but it is rude to purposefully ruin someone's wedding invitations.  As of two minutes ago, I'm officially "letting this go."

A-gain?

Not surprising but still very rude!

The Long (Expensive) Death of the Rabbit Ears

How rude that there is more public advertising and awareness around the transition to digital tv than any other public health, literacy or hunger campaign.  The fact that this is taking up so much of our public officials time and our money ($1.8 BILLION!!!!) is rather pathetic.  I've never seen such action on behalf of our government to rally people to "save their tv."  

I'm not for everyone losing television (lord only knows what would happen to me without Mad Men!), I just think that we should hear more about pressing issues.  Tell me where to donate food or tell people about the toxic peanut butter!  Now we have until April to make sure that no American loses their signal (and they need MORE money!).

Where is the Love?

Why is everyone breaking up?  Hellllloooo, it's almost time for spring... romance... my wedding!  The couple from "Once" just called it quits.  Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy announced that they have concluded their 5-year relationship.  Apparently she told the prince about their status via Facebook.  That is quite rude!  

On top of fading romances, Citigroup announced plans to split in two, the Senate is split on the stimulus package and I think that Caroline Kennedy plans to split from politics for a long time.

Let Hillary Celebrate!

How rude!  Thanks to Senator John Cornryn from Texas, Hill's confirmation has been postponed. He cited ethical concerns related to Bill's philanthropic fund-raising.  Hopefully she will be confirmed tomorrow and can celebrate then.  

Blue Monday and Tomorrow is Tuesday

Alison and I (yes that's 2x in a row) had a great day... Knicks game (they won!) with Scott + 2/3 of his boys, facials, shopping (shoes!).  That was until I learned that, according to the Brits (obviously this includes me), today is officially the most depressing day of the year, a.k.a. Blue Monday.  Oh the power of suggestion... I'm now here with heavy boots!  Somehow Pandora has also fallen to the day, selecting Tori Amos, Bright Eyes and other suicidal tunes.  How rude! The lady must go to sleep.  Tomorrow will be better.

I'm Not Afraid of No Birds

It has come to my attention that birds may be working against us.  Case in point, Thursday's plane crash caused by... geese (one of the biggest birds in the air).  Also, just look around.  They are everywhere and among us.  Sometimes they follow me and with their versatile transportation methods, they can easily travel from A-to-B "as the crow flies."  We also cannot forget the dreaded "Avian Flu," which Alison (my b.f.f.) reminds me, once paralyzed me with fear.  Why should we let these rude inflictors of fear, bring us down?  Recently, at the airport I saw a woman carry a pelican through the metal detector on her arm.  I find it amusing that we're letting a major threat to our aviation industry to fly first class from New York to LA reaping all the benefits, including the hot fudge sundae and Forgetting Sarah Marshall in HD.  How rude!  We shouldn't live our lives in fear of birds any longer.  I for one am going today and facing them head-on (obviously wearing a hat so that they do not... you know... on my freshly coifed hair). 

Rude Smokers

I'm sure that it's difficult to make out the rudeness in this photo but essentially we have smokers smoking next to the sign that reads, "Do not smoke within 25 feet of this sign."  The hubris!  Well ladies, you are caught and officially, rude!

Little Manners

My friend Lizzie sent me this article from the NYTimes Health section.  A pediatrician, Dr. Perri Klass, discusses how many children are ill-mannered, their parents neglecting to inform them that the world actually does NOT revolve around them.  It is unfortunate that a parent would allow their child to enter the world lacking good manners.  These children become the adults who cut in line, hold the subway doors open, keeping a full train at a station for them, do not hold doors open, interrupt others, are disrespectful to waitstaff and other offenses that we have to endure day after day.  

Brotherhood of the Traveling Sweatpants

M.B. and I traveled several times over the past month and couldn't help but notice the sloppily shod flight passengers. There's something very off-putting about grown men arriving to the airport in sweatpants. When traveling internationally (when the dollar allowed), I always applauded the European men in suits, ladies in heels, etc. Not so much on the LGA -ORD flight which, by the way, is less than two hours. In other words, can these guys not wear pants and a belt for a two hour increment? How rude!