Monday, March 31, 2008

I Must Keep the Day Job

She Bangs

A judge in Honolulu, Hawaii is deciding a case that considers the Large Hedron Collider, a complex science project way over this lady's head. Apparently, the machine pictured above would allow international physicists in Geneva to study the conditions after the Big Bang through colliding protons. According to the article in the Times, there is a very small chance (cough) that this experiment could create a Black Hole that would swallow the Earth and the Universe. That would be very rude!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I Don't Want to See THAT!

I was doing my usual virtual trip to the market (a.k.a. Fresh Direct) when I came across the now prevalent bathroom wipes. Can we all be honest for a moment and call these what they really are: ADULT BABY WIPES. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than entering someone's home only to see THESE, plain as day in their common restroom. Obviously I struggled with this post given the implications, but it must be said that if you are going to use these wipies - discretion is strongly advised. Tuck them under the sink or away from guests. We really don't need to see that!

Police Tower on the Block

I've never seen anything like this with the exception of large protests in DC. It literally popped up this morning. Not sure if there's going to be a massive demonstration on our little Front Street or if they are investigating something. Either way, it's very rude!

Monday, March 24, 2008

A Crane Destroyed My Apartment and All I Got Were These Scary Photos

From the crane collapse last week in mid-town. Brilliant headline from Curbed. Read more here. How rude!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Here's Hoping for the Best

Traveling with the MTA on the weekends is really a "crap shoot" in NYC. Myself not a religious person, I must simply "roll the dice" and hope that the subway lines I need to reach my destination are running. You also hope that the stations are even open. The printed posters underground are probably the most confusing public information posters I've ever seen. I'm not implying that I'm a genius but consider that I have to typically read the signs 3-4 times and STILL proceed to look for the train. Just this weekend I stepped on an F train and (barely) after the third stop heard the conductor shout, "this is the C train making all local stops." In this instance, no signs. I think that someone was just on a joy ride. Or how about earlier in the week when M.B. and I were standing on the platform waiting for the 1 train and it literally whizzed by... not even stopping. We looked at one another and said, "Of course. That makes sense. Why would the train STOP at the station?" Anyway, aside from the weekly rudeness one must endure to get to the office, the weekends are beyond rude. Transforming a would-be glorious trip up-town into a game of "guess-the-train" and "Geez I hope the train stops to pick me up."

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Breaking Rude News!

THREE different contractors working at the US State Department were found peeking into Barack Obama's passport files. One would assume that their manager would look into this after the second incident. Apparently not the case. Supposedly the Senator's office was contacted about the breach today only by a junior level employee at the State Department. I was making Eggplant Carbonata (delicious thank you!) when Keith Olbermann, broke the story on Countdown. It has yet to be widely reported but sounds extremely suspicious. How rude!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

What Happened?

These lyrics are amazing. My personal favorite:
Im gonna treat you like a teddy bear
You won't wanna go nowhere
In the lap of luxury
Baby just turn to me
You won't want for nothing boy
I will give you plenty
Touch my body

It's rude for her to think that it's ok to put out songs like this.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

I've Gotta Say It...

How rude!
(I know everyone was thinking of me last week when the story broke - sorry I was on vacation!)

Ancient Healing

I love television infomercials and hard-sells for quack products. Favorites include Head-On!, the voice recorder key chain/magnet and that juicer I almost bought in a lunesta-induced virtual shopping trip. I have now completed my usual infomercial cycle with The Kinoki Foot Pads spot. For those of you who haven't seen it:

So my reaction to the Kinoki Foot Pads spot is as follows:
1. I laugh - the production quality and the 'ancient gardens' are beauties
2. I start to think about how many toxins could be running around my body... should I just get them? Right?
3. I am now scared. What IS that black stuff on her feet?

And here we are. I am NOT getting the Kinoki Foot Pads and am no longer afraid. I have decided that this 'ancient healing' infomercial is just rude.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Streaking WeeMee

I love weemees. For those of you who don't instant message, these are little avatars that express your personal style, etc. They are cute and do fun things while you are IM'ing. I find them hilarious when they resemble the person. OK I find mine hilarious and cute. Anyway, a certain person new to this digital phenomenon im'ed me today. This was her weemee. Maybe this lady is not into clothes like I am but I do feel like naked, drunk, thug weemees are rude.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Harnessing My Inner Child

Maybe I will change my mind about this one day but, for now... how rude!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Most Polite Person of the Week

Christine... thank you for my own URL ( my dear friends and viral markters)! This will make my summer premiums so much better. I was thinking beer can cozies. Thoughts?

Reply All Ya'll

Mindless reply all emails are the bane of my existence. We can all email so I am not sure why someone feels compelled to reply all, "thanks." Maybe they want us all to know that they are checking emails well into the night and therefore work is just "SOOOO crazy!" Maybe they do not have faith in the email, internet system and want to confirm receipt of my note but it is senseless. I think a good rule of thumb is to re-read all emails before sending and ask oneself, "Self, does this make sense?" How rude.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Celebrity Chef Dishes Up False Resume

I once worked with a girl who lied on her resume about her college degree. I'm SO paranoid about anything outside of the truth and the rules so, to me, this was unbelievable! Celebrity Chef Robert Irvine took this to a whole new level by lying about knighthood, owning a castle and befriending Prince Charles. Now he's out of his Food Network job because he is rude!

Monday, March 3, 2008


Today this crazy man was all over the news. Apparently he has endorsed John McCain. Obviously this guy with the cane isn't good for anyone. I REALLY hope that the crazy map/timeline/crazy poster behind him isn't widely circulated. We're beyond rude but, alas, I can't help myself.

Mr. McCain should not be proud of this. It's creepy and, well just eeeew!

Oh Technology!

I was in a meeting this afternoon and heard the term 'data dump'. I've heard this before however, this now offends me. How rude! Could we use any of the following?
1. Data transfer
2. Information implementation
3. Information share session


Sunday, March 2, 2008

Shame on You!

I saw this sign at a friend's apartment. It reads:
Shame on you! You stole babe wash detergent! Put Back. It's not yours!
All good points.

Taxi TV

I really cherish quiet time in the back of a taxi. The NYC Taxi TV system is really killing me. The auto-play always startles me and the "news" is always the same local entertainment piece reminding me to 'check it out'. Don't get me wrong, I love the map feature but last night, M.B. and I found ourselves watching a girl dressed up like a police officer giving tourists tickets for walking too slow.

Of course I can see how the TV is a welcome distraction and can ameliorate many awkward moments in the back of taxis with friends, family, co-workers, etc. Now I find myself riding over the bridge, happy for the time alone and having to tune out the blaring TV. I'll have to keep asking for my own car at work. How rude!

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Tim Russert and the 2000 Election

How rude (and simplistic) for anyone to accuse Ralph of the 2000 election and the state of the union.

Lost and Found

There is nothing ruder than someone putting a 'found' object in front of our door. I came home from work last night only to discover a ribbed, navy, mens sweater outside my door. After looking around for potential booby traps, I came up short. Here's the sweater and it is STILL there. How rude!