Monday, October 12, 2009

Scary Forwards

Why do my loved ones like to frighten me with forwarded emails warning me of abductions in parking lots, how to avoid being strangled in your bed and threats of bad karma if I do not forward their spiritual emails from Oprah? Obviously I'm already paranoid of most things, I don't need new scenarios to play out in my overactive imagination (that's what my mom called it). For instance, there was one email warning people of a crying baby sound at the door. The killer would then grab you as you open the door to check on things. That's so creepy. Now if a friend drops by with their baby I'll have to make them answer a series of verification questions "just in case."

Thank you Dad for the most recent tip:
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car,
kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole
and start waving like crazy..
The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.

How rude! Obviously if I'm ever locked in the trunk of the car... I will die of a panic attack. I won't be able to wave to anyone. I love you all but please stop scaring me. I already have Rhonda to read me the Brooklyn police blotter.


alison said...

how about the email about what to do if you are raped from my mom?!?!

Alie said...

I liked the forward about how you should eat fruit on an empty stomach because otherwise it will rot and ferment in your stomach...

Doris said...

Please let me know what is better for dinner... Friday or Saturday... I have to make a reservation.....Love, Grandma

LoriElsa said...

Scary forwards are a way for

loved ones to show they still